this definitely is a candidate for the "gravy" category of my blog. a beauty pageant for nuns. called the Miss Sister 2008 pageant. hilarious.

i honestly think this is pretty rediculous but who am i to judge? or better yet, i think i should be one of the judges.

read more at this link: nun beauty pageant

once again, Brad Shorr provides us with a corporate cartoon that many of us in the business world can fully appreciate.

the following is a little cupcake post from friend and colleague, Jonah "CakeSnob" Berger. Jonah is developing a blog site devoted to all things cake which will eventually be located at CakeSnob.com. but until that's up, i offered him a place to post some of his insanity. didn't you know? cupcakes are wonderful smothered in gravy...

All of a sudden, cupcakes are kicking some serious ass in the sweet tooth department. Why? I have no answers or scientific explanation, actually. If you travel through any neighborhood in Chicago these days, you are bound to run into a cupcake place or nine. There is Swirlz Cupcakes, Molly's Cupcakes, a place appropriately titled "Cupcakes," even Cupcakes By Obama and McGillicutty's House O' Cupcakes. OK, I made the last two up, though I wouldn't be surprised to see those shops popping up in a storefront near you one day.

Is there anything wrong with all this cupcake madness? Absolutely not. It is just that the cupcake phenomenon has come out of nowhere to rival cookie stores, ice cream parlors, pretzel shops and places of the like. My take on the matter is during this whole eating healthy craze punched in our guts by lifestyles created by the Atkins Diet, the South Beach Diet, the Diet Diet and all the other 21st century ways of losing inches, cake has been somewhat pushed to the back burner (cooking pun not intended, honestly) and replaced by a miniature version of itself. Of course, I am a cupcake fan, yet can never seem to feel the way about them as I do about cakes. Why? I don't know, maybe there isn't as much love baked into each cupcake because several are made at a time. Maybe there is too much cake and not enough frosting to take my sugar high where it needs to go. A cake is a baker's sweet baby and isn't just whipped together like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Cakes take hours to make and lifetimes to master. They have layers and involve multiple pans; they are meant to feed several; they are highlighted at weddings and parties that celebrate anything, from the loss of virginity to 50 years working at the widget factory. Cupcakes, meanwhile, are more of a finger food or snack you pick up while shopping on a lazy Sunday afternoon. They are easy to eat and somewhat easier on the waistline.

Can these cupcake places last in the long run? Can they take out the mighty cakes that pampered them, raised them, taught them everything they know? My guess is they can't, but stranger things have most definitely happened. My advice to cupcake-only shops out there is to offer more than just the mini guys. The time will come when people won't want cute or trendy, when something small and lighter just won't fit the bill. When that time comes, get those round and square pans ready, those icing vats filled to the brim, those trick candles and special cutters ready.

Fads come and go. Cakes are forever.

-Jonah Berger

by now, persona non gravy readers are familiar with the bizarre cast of characters known as: Jed Clemp, Benkins, and Beef Wellington.

but, did you know that Clemp and Benkins actually met Beef Wellington?

the story goes...

Jed Clemp
he's a struggling songwriter living in Nashville. he takes a midnight roadtrip to Memphis, and his car breaks down in front of a crappy bar on the outskirts of town. he walks into the bar to ask the bartender if there are any repair shops in the area that can fix his car. Benkins is at the bar asking for directions to Nashville because he has a business meeting in the morning he "can't miss, or it's his ass!". Beef is on stage, singing his last number of the night, making a mockery of himself [as usual].

as Benkins is finishing up his conversation with the bartender, feverishly writing down directions to Nashville on a bar napkin, Beef finishes his act and heads straight to the bar. he plows his way through the crowd and ends up between Benkins and Jed. just as Jed is about to get the bartenders attention to ask about repair shops, Beef interrupts to order an "extra dirty martini with no less than four blue cheese olives and the prime rib - extra bloody - and make sure they don't charge me for it... they promised me free drinks and a meal".

the bartender walks away to fill Beef's order.

Beef [to Benkins and Jed]: you guys enjoy the show? [before they can answer] of course you did, i always kill at this place. i've been playing here since '57, and they still love me! you're not from around these parts, are you?

Benkins & Jed: [simultaneously] no.

Beef: where you from?

Benkins and Jed look at each other then back at Beef.

Benkins: no, sir, i'm from Chicago. i'm just trying to make my way to Nashville, i have a very important business meeting in the morning.

Beef: [disinterested in Benkins' reply] and you?

Jed: i'm from Nashville... [pause] my car broke down... i just need to find the closest repair shop so i can get back on the road.

Beef: where ya headed?

before Jed can answer, the bartender comes back with Beef's martini and prime rib. he returns to other side of the bar before Jed has a chance to talk to him.

Beef: it's about time!

Beef dives into his drink and bloody dinner.

Beef: so, where'd you say you were headed?

Jed: actually, i didn't... and, honestly, i don't really know.

Beef: [a mouth full of bloody meat and martini] those are the best trips! i don't even know how i got here. all i remember is running into a buffet table at a casino I was playing in... whatever... and the next thing I remember i was on stage here.

Benkins & Jed exchange awkward glances and give acquiescent nods to Beef.

---------------------------
thanks to Jed for filling me in on this bit of gravy history.

have you ever worked with someone who tries to use "big words" and always comes out sounding rediculous? or really just doesn't understand how to write well at all? (not that i do)

continuing on with one of the themes of this site, mediocrity in business and silly business news, there is this priceless gem of text that i must share with you all.

my good friend (who will remain nameless in this particular post) came across this well-written bio on a former colleagues LinkedIn profile page. LinkedIn is a great network for professionals, i enjoy it very much actually... but this particular profile leaves a lot to be desired.

this individual is just one of those people who can't quite seem to get it right on paper.

read this job description from his profile and let me know if you can figure out what he does for a living.

i know i sure can't.

Integrating educational programs to increase opportunities on packaging automation and provide the optimum process solutions to customers. Position related packaging consumables to be integrated on this equipment to provide the best ROI for internal and external resources. Model a defined sales process to become the preferred resource and have the preferred position at external customers. Designed and implemented digitized presentation collateral and process to provide the best knowledge base of potential solutions to internal and external partners.

another "quality" WordSell, Inc. corporate cartoon brought to you by Brad Shorr. i'm sure many of you can relate to meetings such as this. i know i can.

i enjoy reading technology articles of all kinds as i have been called a nerd from time to time. i was reading an interesting post from C|NET News' Green Tech Blog from writer Michael Kanellos called "Start-up says it can make hydrogen with sunlight and water". it was a great read and seems promising.

the reason why i mention this posting on Persona Non Gravy is because i love business humor and mediocrity in the business world. when my company or any other company messes up or something stated as positive might actually be a negative, i find this funny.

in this posting, Mr. Kanellos makes a point that is fairly well known in the hydrogen fuel world but not well known to the general public and the way he presents the information was done in an excellent, funny way.

an excerpt from the blog posting:

"Currently, most companies make it [hydrogen] by combining methane with water and heating up the mix to 815 degrees Celsius. That takes a lot of energy, but it also produces 9.3 kilograms of carbon dioxide for every kilogram of hydrogen. Whoops. Hence, critics like Joseph Romm assert that hydrogen cars actually pollute more than regular cars."

the subtle yet effective use of the word "whoops" was executed ever-so-smartly. it made me laugh. and it makes a great business case in mediocrity.

my good friend Brad Shorr runs a business/blog called WordSell, Inc. he had a miserable failure in the past in launching a fictitious-cartoon-business-story website based around a company called Mold, Inc. a lot of great ideas but few people "got it".

in the process, Brad had a number of great cartoon ideas drawn up for him by his illustrator, Mark Hill.

Brad has given me the option to post some of his cartoons from time to time. i'm starting out with this little gem as i love corporate humor.

i think cartoons like this are a fine addition to Persona Non Gravy.

enjoy.

Beef Wellington is back in town and for one night only. this time, it's for a special New Year's Eve bash with his backup jazz band.

it's sure to be the biggest New Year's party in Chicago.

i spent a lot of time yesterday (Thanksgiving 2007) eating food and thinking about posting something along the lines of grand Thanksgiving meals and how they relate to gravy.

i think the quantities of food i consumed kept me from gathering up the needed energy to write something.

the food consumption continues today as we have a lot of college football to watch and eating high fat, high salt content foods just seem rather appropriate for a day such as today. and it just so happens to be freezing cold outside here in Chicago so there isn't much else to do. and forget about shopping on Black Friday. ugh.

but, in the spirit of gravy and Thanksgiving, i came across this wonderfully disgusting contraption that epitomizes the essence of gravy.

a recirculating gravy fountain...

gross and yet so perfect.